Friendship

The lessons of growing up never get old. Society’s milestone of turning the legal age of 18 does not mean our brains automatically become filled with all things wisdom and knowledge. I am sure there are some people who think that happens. But to remain grounded in the tumultuous journey of life, I think it is important to be open to what you can learn and how you can grow.

An on-going lesson I’ve come across is coping with change. If you know me well enough, you know I struggle with change. Even a change that might be considered good can still provoke internal panic. When I turned 18, or even 21, I did not automatically become immune to this recurring change. Instead, I continued to be faced with changes and the question always remains, how will I cope with it?

One area of change I have had particular trouble facing is friendships. I realise that friends come and go. I realise that friendships have their own seasons. But I have trouble accepting that is the reality of it. I have had trouble getting out of the mindset of assuming I will stay friends with the same people for the rest of my life.

I spent the first 6 years of schooling with the same circle of friends. I had a best friend, and most of the other girls in my class were my friends. Then it was time for my family and I to move away. Talk about a huge change!

I quickly became friends with one particular girl and throughout high school we were also really close. I managed to adjust from one circle of friends in the class to several cliques and actually not being liked by everyone. It wasn’t easy. I didn’t like it. But it happened.

During high school, I became very attached to and very dependent on a particular friend. When the season of this friendship began to falter, I really struggled feeling lost, alone and abandoned. Somehow, I got through it. I wasn’t exactly walking close to God at this point.

Since I’ve moved back to my hometown, I’ve gained several new friendships. I’ve noticed, from a healthier standpoint, how friendships go through seasons. There are autumns and there are springs. There are summers and there are winters. Friendships go through the cycle. Friendship is a beautiful gift from God.

I believe part of God’s grace working in my life is working on my heart to accept this concept of seasons. It hurts when a friendship ends. It is painful when a friend feels far away. It is also challenging when there is a need to walk away or take a step back from a particular friendship. It really is. I look at some of the friends I have in my life now and I have no idea what kind of changes these relationships will go through over time. But I do know they are all a gift of God and serve a purpose.

As a single, when I lack the constant, built-in best friend of a husband, it is especially important to build and invest in these friendships. We were made to be in community with one another. I have been given fantastic friends who continue to love, encourage and point me to Jesus.

Ultimately, the lesson on friendship changes reminds me of the importance of trusting God in all areas of my life. It’s a learning curve to realise that God is in control of all aspects of my life, especially when I don’t like the changes.

But the best thing to learn most of all? The constancy of God. God will never be late for me or forget we had a meeting. He will never let me down. He will never get my coffee wrong. Or turn His back on me. While friends walk in and out of your life, God is always there.

Deuteronomy 3:16 'Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.'