The book is about ready to launch!

I'm honestly really excited about this book. I think it's a book we need (but not before needing the gospel). We are continually walking further and further away from God. The world is getting darker the more we shun God out of our lives and society. And you don't have to look far to see it.

We as women are hiding in shame and embarassment and guilt from our sexual struggles. God made us sexual beings, it's a fact. Struggles are real but we need to remind ourselves we are NOT alone in the battles we face. Satan wants us to feel the guilt and shame we feel. He wants us to feel alone in the dark. He wants us to stay silent on these issues.

Here's what the authors have to say:

"The more we chase after God’s good design, the more the fog will lift. The more the confusion will clear up. The more we chase after our Savior, the more He will satisfy us in ways nothing on this earth ever could.

As you read through the pages of this book, here’s what you’ll discover:

• A Biblical understanding of your sexuality,

• God’s good design for love, passion, and sex,

• Why your longings for intimacy are actually a good thing,

• How to conquer lust in your life,

• What God’s word teaches about porn, masturbation, and erotica,

• How to deal with secret sexual struggles,

• Practical help for embracing a life of purity,

• How to find ultimate satisfaction in Jesus,

• And much more.

Regardless of where you’ve been or what you’re facing today, we're excited you’re reading this book. We pray that the truths of God’s word transform your life like they have ours." -Kristen and Bethany

The deal: Pre-order by April 29th ( ONLY DAYS LEFT) and you will receive the following freebies. Check it out! And stay tuned. I have begun to read this book and will have a review in a few days. Do yourself a favour and click on the link and to see what I'm on about. We need each other to bring these issues to the light and pour God's truth on them so we do not feel guilt or shame anymore!

https://www.girldefined.com/sex-purity-and-longings

Book Launch: Sex, Purity and the longings of a Girl's Heart.

Well, 18 months since my last post and my next post is about 'Sex. Purity and the longings of a Girl's Heart'. How fun!

And I mean it! This book is released at the end of the month and I'm super excited to see how it's going to radically change how we view sex and purity in this dark and sexualised world. This book is going to do wonders in bringing God's truth out. 

Follow this link to pre-order now and get some freebies! 

https://www.girldefined.com/sex-purity-and-longings

Do you think Modesty is Beautiful?

I originally wrote this post last year for my old church, The Point Community Church. I am now sharing this to hopefully and prayerfully encourage you.

Modesty. A topic where the finger gets pointed but responsibility isn’t owned. A topic which society pushes to the sidelines. A word that the Bible pictures as beautiful, but that evokes ‘ugliness’ today.  As society becomes more sexualised, ‘modest’ clothing becomes more associated with ‘boring' and ‘old-fashioned’. 

Growing up, I had a very limited understanding of what modesty meant and looked like in day-to-day life. I did not learn the value of my body and the power of my clothing. I often walked out of the house without a care about what I was wearing.  I was far more focused on who I could impress that day. I became very obsessed with my self-image and did not treat my body with any respect.  I had little understanding of how precious my body is.

Now in my mid-twenties, I am seeking to understand how modesty fits into my life.  Part of my journey has been to study God’s Word and various Christian authors’ views on the topic. I have been challenged to figure out where I stand.  I have discovered that being modest in today’s ‘dress to impress’ society requires wisdom AND the fear of God over fear of man.

Modesty stems from the heart. How we treat our bodies including how we choose our clothing reveals what is going on inside our hearts. What goes through your mind as you look at your wardrobe in the morning? 

I often struggle with an inner battle when I dress for outings.  Too often I am focussed on wanting to look beautiful and to be accepted.  Earlier this week I tried on a dress I thought was rather cute.  I had to fight the temptation to keep the dress because in my heart I knew it would not be a wise choice to wear it.  It was not an easy fight.

I am far from perfect in this area of my life, but what I am realising is:

Modesty is not boring.

Modesty is not old-fashioned.

Modesty is not ugly.

Modesty is beautiful.

Here is what the Bible has to say:

‘Do not let your adorning be external- the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewellery, or the clothing you wear- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.’ 1 Peter 3:3-5 (ESV)

This is a well-known verse among many Christians with the reminder that beauty really is in the heart of people. What is that draws you to your friends? Is it the clothes they wear, or how beautiful you think they are on the outside? Or is it what flows out from their hearts?

‘Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire.’ 1 Timothy 2:9 (ESV)

In this verse, Paul is not suggesting we should not style our hair or never wear jewellery, or that we should wear sacks to cover ourselves up. Paul is suggesting we shift from focusing so much on our outward selves, and instead look at what is going on in our hearts and character.

Modesty is beautiful. In True Beauty, authors Carolyn Mahaney and Nicole Whitacre describe modesty as ‘a reverence for God and respect for others in our dress.’ A modest woman is a beautiful woman as she values her body created by God, and adopts an attitude that seeks to serve and love Christ in her dress.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss shares her thoughts on modesty in her book Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free:

‘The outward appearance of the Christian woman is to reflect a heart that is simple, pure, and well-ordered; her clothing and hairstyles should not be distracting or draw attention to herself by being extravagant, extreme or indecent. In this way, she reflects the truth condition of her heart and her relationship with the Lord, and she makes the Gospel attractive to the world.’ (Page 81)

I would like to encourage and challenge you to think about where God sits in your life as you think about what you wear.   One place to start is to ask yourself some questions:

• ·         Am I honouring to God by wearing this?
• ·         What does this outfit reveal about my heart?
• ·         Am I wanting to impress someone, or do I desire to imitate God?

Society believes (and some Christians believe) there is no place for modesty today. Will you prayerfully consider what you put on inside and outside of your body?   Will you seek God on how you can see modesty is beautiful?

Taste and See the Lord is good... for the single woman?

Do you think God is good in your singleness? Do you believe in God’s Sovereignty in your singleness?

God is good. All the time. This was a saying at my hometown church. The pastor would begin by saying, ‘God is good.’ And the congregation would respond with, ‘All the time, God is good.’ For me, this was a helpful reminder on an important Biblical truth: God is good.

Do I always believe those words? As I navigate life as a young single woman who desires marriage but feels it’s so far from reach, do I always believe God is good?

I don’t. And I can only guess I am not alone.

One of my favourite people in the Bible is King David. David consistently draws me into his words with his raw honesty in the Psalms, his journey to genuine repentance, and his humble praises of God the midst of constant suffering.

Recently I have been reading Psalm 34 and it has challenged me to question, ‘do I really think God is good in my singleness?’ I have watched friends get married and it is a joyous occasion. I have watched friends glow with pregnancy and it is a very exciting time. But both of these things have been deep desires of mine since I was much younger, so sometimes I walk away feeling the sting of hurt and I want to question God: where is Your goodness?

Quite simply, His goodness is everywhere. In verse 34, David writes, ‘Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!’ (ESV)

This is an interesting yet seemingly mismatched combination of senses but there is a method to his writing. David urges his readers to experience with their senses the goodness of God. David is giving an example that we, as children of God, have the ability to experience a more personal and intimate way of knowing God’s goodness.

God is good, and He is good in singleness.

There are (at least) two reasons I can say this confidently today:

• Singleness does not define me. Singleness may be temporary or may be for the rest of my life. Ultimately my identity comes from God. I may be single now, but there is more to me than whether I am married or not. I am a daughter, a friend, and I have many interests, dreams and goals. I am also a child of God and even in my singleness, am being used for God’s glory. This goes for you too.
• Every day there are blessings that come from God. When there is an aspect of my life that I struggle to see the good in (e.g. my singleness) I can look in other areas and find the goodness of God. Sometimes it is as simple as seeing the sun rise. When I am having a bad day or I am struggling to see God’s goodness in my circumstances I often cling to a passage in Lamentations 3 that talks about God’s mercies being new everyday (verses 22 and 23).

David is one example of struggling with circumstances but he chooses to believe in God’s goodness. This is where I am challenged to embrace my singleness and choose to see God’s goodness in my life.

The next time you hear someone say, ‘God is good’, will you be able to confidently respond with ‘all the time, God is good?’ I pray we will. Singleness isn’t easy, but God remains faithful and true and we can hold fast to the truth He is good. All the time.

Finding Comfort through Change

‘But I don’t want to,’ I say gritting my teeth and fighting back the urge to stamp my foot. The news has hit and my heart is sinking. Change is on the horizon.

Again.

I am having an argument with God.

Again.

I know I am fighting a losing battle. Experience has taught me I never win an argument with God. I don’t want to back down. Somehow, admitting I am wrong is a sign of failure or defeat.

This is the conversation between God and me when significant change is on the horizon. I begin to feel fear and panic deep inside of me. I feel my stomach dropping and my heart trying to leap out of my body. I fear losing control and watching life happen without being able to do anything about it. When I know there is significant change is coming, I want to fight God. I know I could see change as an opportunity to be joyful. But still I fight.

We entered a new year a couple months back. My Facebook feed was filled with mixed responses. Some were full of excitement to see what the year ahead had in store, others were keen to see the end of a crappy year. And then there were the ones whose responses were full of uncertainty, doubt and anxiety.

A new year to me is almost always a guarantee for change. That thought fills me with dread. Changes make me feel like my world is crumbling around me.

The issue is not with whether I like change or not (and let’s be honest – lots of us don’t like change. We’re not alone).

The issue is with how I deal with it.

My temperament tends towards: bottling up my emotions until they unexpectedly burst, depression and anxiety symptoms, stress and catastrophic thinking. I struggle to make decisions as everything becomes fuzzy in my mind. I fear (or perhaps know deep down) I am not in control. It is like there is a warning button that is turned on in my brain when change is on the horizon.

However, not all change is bad. Change is becoming a reminder to me that I have a sovereign God. When my family went through some drastic changes a couple of years ago, one of my pastors consistently reminded me ‘God is sovereign’. I have clung to that truth ever since. I have found comfort knowing God is bigger than any change in life.

As much as we battle for control in our lives, and as much as we think we know better than God, the Bible offers a completely different perspective. Rather than stamping our feet and pouting because our ways do not line with His (guilty!), turning towards God and His truth provides comfort and peace.

For several years I have dreaded even thinking about moving outside of my comfort zone. I thrive off routine, and predictability. Choosing to live life my own way has never ended well so I think I have actually feared change in case I end up back where I was. I now choose a verse (Lamentations 3:21-23) to meditate on each day and place my trust in God.

The Bible has many other verses you can choose from as your own. Print them out and hang them on a wall or carry them in your wallet to remind you what the verse says. Here are just a couple:

‘God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfil it?’ Numbers 23:19-20 (ESV).

‘Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the L_ORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.’ Deuteronomy 31:6 (ESV).

‘Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.’ Hebrews 13:8 (ESV).

Not all change is scary. However, it is hard when friends move away or when tragedy strikes family. Change also gives us opportunity. An opportunity to draw close to God. An opportunity to place our trust in the One who created us. When life begins to feel like it is falling apart remember:

God is the one and only constant in life.

What change are you facing this year? How can you approach it in a godly manner? 

{Guest Post} From Head to Heart

I have been blessed with several opportunities to guest post on other blogs. Watch out for them over the coming months. The first one to be published can be found on To Share, Care and Love. I had the pleasure of 'meeting' Hannah last year when she began her 'What Does Grace Mean to Me?' series.

Hannah is about to get married to her husband which is very exciting. So here is an excerpt of my post: 

Transforming the head knowledge- Do you believe in God’s strength?

Christian’s typically have the head knowledge of the gospel. They know in their heads that God loves them. They know in their heads they are forgiven. They know these general aspects. But when it comes to truly believing in their hearts, there is often a real lack of belief. 

I am guilty of this. I have recently been reading through Beth Moore’s book, Breaking Free. Beth Moore so aptly and boldly speaks out about unbelief. How often do you doubt God’s love for yourself? How often do you feel unworthy to approach God? 

While I feel incredibly blessed to have grown up in a Christian environment, I also feel it has made me run the risk of becoming complacent with Gospel truth.  There are plenty of verses I ‘know’ in my head but have a lack of true understanding or acceptance in my heart. 

Read More

Are you in awe?

Recently at church, a discussion question was posed to us:

Has there ever been a time you have felt small?

In a heartbeat I could confidently answer that question with an all the time. The question related to our sermon on Psalm 8. Usually when I feel small, it is in quite a negative way (I think I am not worth anyone’s time; I think I am not worthy at all). But, over Christmas while on holidays I felt really small. This time in a very different way. I felt small as I acknowledged the greatness of our God. I felt small as I was in awe of how majestic our God is.

The holiday was a 3 week camping trip around the South of Australia. I can think of plenty of words to describe the trip: fun, incredible, tiring, busy, amazing.

The trip took us from our hometown of Port Macquarie to the country’s capital of Canberra, to the underworld of Tasmania, to the rocky road of Victoria. Not to mention all the towns in between!

Apart from Canberra, these were places I had never visited before so I was quite keen to explore another part of the country.

In the midst of the hours on the road, setting up and packing up camp, and figuring out a Christmas dinner, we had the opportunity to site see. Each new site I came face-to-face with, I breathed a, ‘wow, God’.  I was in awe.

Man has done a fantastic job with the eery preservation of Port Arthur Historical Site. There are stories upon stories hidden in the 30 buildings. Port Arthur was once a convict site in the 1800's. It felt strange to walk upon the land that thousands of men convicts once walked on. Even boys as young as seven had been sent to Port Arthur for pitiful crimes. There was an air of fascination walking around the site, acquiring the information from each building and who would have lived there. 


Lighthouses are an interesting and clever invention from man. Table Cape Lighthouse, in Wynyard, was built in 1888. It was one thing, perhaps slightly claustrophobic,  to walk up the steps in a tiny, swirly stairwell. But it was another thing to breathe in the fresh air once at the top and look over at the magnificent views of the ocean. 

But though man has done well, God has done greater. Here is why I was in awe:

I was in awe standing at the top of Mount Wellington above the clouds and fogs.

At first it was slightly disappointing to reach the top of the mountain and not be met with the glorious view of Hobart beneath us. But even the clouds are a testament to God's greatness. To stand at the top of the mountain, and be above the clouds in the sky, and above the fog, was enough to be in awe of God's creative works in our weather. 

I was in awe when met with the various rock formations along the Great Ocean Road.

These rocks are so conveniently placed on the coast of Victoria to be dubbed the name 'Twelve Apostles'. Sadly, only nine remain visible to tourists. These rocks are huge! They alone have reason for one to feel small. I was mesmerised by the waves crashing against these great, big rocks. The strength of the rocks immense and frightening as no wave can bring them down in a single sweep. God is awesome.

'The Grotto' was an interesting rock to visit. This rock reminds me of doughnuts, as it stands to be not quite a cave. While the rock itself is breathtaking, peeking through the hole to see the glistening, bright blue waters was a beautiful site to take in. God is amazing.







In all the lighthouse-climbing and rock-viewing, I adored being around the wildlife. It was not as exciting waking up one morning to find a creature had eaten through a packet of breadrolls and sea salt chips. But it was exciting to watch, after that, the Potoroo's (Wallaby-like marsupials) visiting our campsite. And Koala's sleeping in the trees above our tents. (Can you spot the Mum and Baby below?)

No man can ever match God’s majesty.

‘Oh Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth.’ Psalm 8:1 (ESV)

Boy did I ever feel small reflecting on the greatness of God.

This is not something I felt discouraged by. Yes, I am insignificant in this world. But God is majestic. God is greatness, wonder and power. This is a truth to treasure and I will treasure the opportunity I had to see some of His greatness face-to-face.

I struggle with low self-esteem and believing in my insignificance for worse. This year I am challenging myself, and you, to turn it around and be in awe of God’s majesty instead. Through God’s power, we can be used for His glory and greatness. By His grace, we are His children.