The book is about ready to launch!

I'm honestly really excited about this book. I think it's a book we need (but not before needing the gospel). We are continually walking further and further away from God. The world is getting darker the more we shun God out of our lives and society. And you don't have to look far to see it.

We as women are hiding in shame and embarassment and guilt from our sexual struggles. God made us sexual beings, it's a fact. Struggles are real but we need to remind ourselves we are NOT alone in the battles we face. Satan wants us to feel the guilt and shame we feel. He wants us to feel alone in the dark. He wants us to stay silent on these issues.

Here's what the authors have to say:

"The more we chase after God’s good design, the more the fog will lift. The more the confusion will clear up. The more we chase after our Savior, the more He will satisfy us in ways nothing on this earth ever could.

As you read through the pages of this book, here’s what you’ll discover:

• A Biblical understanding of your sexuality,

• God’s good design for love, passion, and sex,

• Why your longings for intimacy are actually a good thing,

• How to conquer lust in your life,

• What God’s word teaches about porn, masturbation, and erotica,

• How to deal with secret sexual struggles,

• Practical help for embracing a life of purity,

• How to find ultimate satisfaction in Jesus,

• And much more.

Regardless of where you’ve been or what you’re facing today, we're excited you’re reading this book. We pray that the truths of God’s word transform your life like they have ours." -Kristen and Bethany

The deal: Pre-order by April 29th ( ONLY DAYS LEFT) and you will receive the following freebies. Check it out! And stay tuned. I have begun to read this book and will have a review in a few days. Do yourself a favour and click on the link and to see what I'm on about. We need each other to bring these issues to the light and pour God's truth on them so we do not feel guilt or shame anymore!

https://www.girldefined.com/sex-purity-and-longings

Taste and See the Lord is good... for the single woman?

Do you think God is good in your singleness? Do you believe in God’s Sovereignty in your singleness?

God is good. All the time. This was a saying at my hometown church. The pastor would begin by saying, ‘God is good.’ And the congregation would respond with, ‘All the time, God is good.’ For me, this was a helpful reminder on an important Biblical truth: God is good.

Do I always believe those words? As I navigate life as a young single woman who desires marriage but feels it’s so far from reach, do I always believe God is good?

I don’t. And I can only guess I am not alone.

One of my favourite people in the Bible is King David. David consistently draws me into his words with his raw honesty in the Psalms, his journey to genuine repentance, and his humble praises of God the midst of constant suffering.

Recently I have been reading Psalm 34 and it has challenged me to question, ‘do I really think God is good in my singleness?’ I have watched friends get married and it is a joyous occasion. I have watched friends glow with pregnancy and it is a very exciting time. But both of these things have been deep desires of mine since I was much younger, so sometimes I walk away feeling the sting of hurt and I want to question God: where is Your goodness?

Quite simply, His goodness is everywhere. In verse 34, David writes, ‘Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!’ (ESV)

This is an interesting yet seemingly mismatched combination of senses but there is a method to his writing. David urges his readers to experience with their senses the goodness of God. David is giving an example that we, as children of God, have the ability to experience a more personal and intimate way of knowing God’s goodness.

God is good, and He is good in singleness.

There are (at least) two reasons I can say this confidently today:

• Singleness does not define me. Singleness may be temporary or may be for the rest of my life. Ultimately my identity comes from God. I may be single now, but there is more to me than whether I am married or not. I am a daughter, a friend, and I have many interests, dreams and goals. I am also a child of God and even in my singleness, am being used for God’s glory. This goes for you too.
• Every day there are blessings that come from God. When there is an aspect of my life that I struggle to see the good in (e.g. my singleness) I can look in other areas and find the goodness of God. Sometimes it is as simple as seeing the sun rise. When I am having a bad day or I am struggling to see God’s goodness in my circumstances I often cling to a passage in Lamentations 3 that talks about God’s mercies being new everyday (verses 22 and 23).

David is one example of struggling with circumstances but he chooses to believe in God’s goodness. This is where I am challenged to embrace my singleness and choose to see God’s goodness in my life.

The next time you hear someone say, ‘God is good’, will you be able to confidently respond with ‘all the time, God is good?’ I pray we will. Singleness isn’t easy, but God remains faithful and true and we can hold fast to the truth He is good. All the time.

Are you in awe?

Recently at church, a discussion question was posed to us:

Has there ever been a time you have felt small?

In a heartbeat I could confidently answer that question with an all the time. The question related to our sermon on Psalm 8. Usually when I feel small, it is in quite a negative way (I think I am not worth anyone’s time; I think I am not worthy at all). But, over Christmas while on holidays I felt really small. This time in a very different way. I felt small as I acknowledged the greatness of our God. I felt small as I was in awe of how majestic our God is.

The holiday was a 3 week camping trip around the South of Australia. I can think of plenty of words to describe the trip: fun, incredible, tiring, busy, amazing.

The trip took us from our hometown of Port Macquarie to the country’s capital of Canberra, to the underworld of Tasmania, to the rocky road of Victoria. Not to mention all the towns in between!

Apart from Canberra, these were places I had never visited before so I was quite keen to explore another part of the country.

In the midst of the hours on the road, setting up and packing up camp, and figuring out a Christmas dinner, we had the opportunity to site see. Each new site I came face-to-face with, I breathed a, ‘wow, God’.  I was in awe.

Man has done a fantastic job with the eery preservation of Port Arthur Historical Site. There are stories upon stories hidden in the 30 buildings. Port Arthur was once a convict site in the 1800's. It felt strange to walk upon the land that thousands of men convicts once walked on. Even boys as young as seven had been sent to Port Arthur for pitiful crimes. There was an air of fascination walking around the site, acquiring the information from each building and who would have lived there. 


Lighthouses are an interesting and clever invention from man. Table Cape Lighthouse, in Wynyard, was built in 1888. It was one thing, perhaps slightly claustrophobic,  to walk up the steps in a tiny, swirly stairwell. But it was another thing to breathe in the fresh air once at the top and look over at the magnificent views of the ocean. 

But though man has done well, God has done greater. Here is why I was in awe:

I was in awe standing at the top of Mount Wellington above the clouds and fogs.

At first it was slightly disappointing to reach the top of the mountain and not be met with the glorious view of Hobart beneath us. But even the clouds are a testament to God's greatness. To stand at the top of the mountain, and be above the clouds in the sky, and above the fog, was enough to be in awe of God's creative works in our weather. 

I was in awe when met with the various rock formations along the Great Ocean Road.

These rocks are so conveniently placed on the coast of Victoria to be dubbed the name 'Twelve Apostles'. Sadly, only nine remain visible to tourists. These rocks are huge! They alone have reason for one to feel small. I was mesmerised by the waves crashing against these great, big rocks. The strength of the rocks immense and frightening as no wave can bring them down in a single sweep. God is awesome.

'The Grotto' was an interesting rock to visit. This rock reminds me of doughnuts, as it stands to be not quite a cave. While the rock itself is breathtaking, peeking through the hole to see the glistening, bright blue waters was a beautiful site to take in. God is amazing.







In all the lighthouse-climbing and rock-viewing, I adored being around the wildlife. It was not as exciting waking up one morning to find a creature had eaten through a packet of breadrolls and sea salt chips. But it was exciting to watch, after that, the Potoroo's (Wallaby-like marsupials) visiting our campsite. And Koala's sleeping in the trees above our tents. (Can you spot the Mum and Baby below?)

No man can ever match God’s majesty.

‘Oh Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth.’ Psalm 8:1 (ESV)

Boy did I ever feel small reflecting on the greatness of God.

This is not something I felt discouraged by. Yes, I am insignificant in this world. But God is majestic. God is greatness, wonder and power. This is a truth to treasure and I will treasure the opportunity I had to see some of His greatness face-to-face.

I struggle with low self-esteem and believing in my insignificance for worse. This year I am challenging myself, and you, to turn it around and be in awe of God’s majesty instead. Through God’s power, we can be used for His glory and greatness. By His grace, we are His children. 

What is your plan for when Christmas is hard?

Christmas is meant to be a happy, exciting and fun time.

Except that is not always the case. I think almost everyone can understand what a tough, sad and stressful Christmas is like.

They can come in different forms which makes it hard to look forward to Christmas.

·      Maybe you are still single after a number of years or have found yourself single after a break-up. Maybe you have experienced the death of a close person throughout the year. Maybe you have moved away from your community. Maybe tensions are high in your family.

• 
  
• ·         A family member or loved one has passed.
• ·         Arguing and tension is high in the family.
• ·         It’s the first Christmas away from family.
• ·         You find yourself still single.

Whatever the circumstance, if you think it is going to be tough, I would suggest having a plan. It is easy to become caught up in the emotions of what has happened (or is happening). It is healthy to let yourself feel and be upset, but the day can still be enjoyed.

Here are some of my thoughts to encourage myself, and others, not to lose focus this Christmas.

• ·         Cook a favourite dish in honour of a loved one or choose a special Christmas ornament. One year I bought angels for each of my family members to place on the tree in memory of our mum.
• ·         Create your own Christmas traditions. Volunteer at a local animal shelter or homeless shelter, or visit people in hospital. Turn some negative and upsetting energy on being alone and/or single into focusing on others in need.
• ·         Buy yourself a craft project to start on Christmas day, splurge on a movie you have been wanting to see, take a road trip to somewhere new.
• ·         If you have friends in town over Christmas, see what they are doing. Even if plans cannot be made for the actual day, see if it is possible to do a dinner between friends on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day. In my home church there are a few people who open up their homes over Christmas to those who do not have family nearby. Maybe there is someone near you who does that. Or, why not be the one to open up your place to others?
• ·         Find some activities you can use as an out when the stress is high. Being in the middle of stress, arguments and tension is never any fun. Prepare some outlets.

Christmas always has the potential to be stressful and painful, but there is always a chance and a choice to turn that around. You can choose to wallow or choose to find the joy in the midst of the pain. The day is not even about us. The day is not even about our families. The day is about Jesus and the good news of the gospel. 

What are you doing to ease the pain this Christmas?

Do you have hope when Christmas changes?

The Christmas season is here. I have a few friends who have been counting down since July. Now we are faced with the reality that Christmas is 2 and a half weeks away. Often there are multitudes of emotions attached to that reality.

For some, there is a tinge of dread at the first sight of decorations appearing in the shops. For others, there is excitement and some people have been planning and buying presents throughout the year. The Christmas season is a busy time, sometimes even stressful. Even though it is a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus, and theoretically should be full of joy, there can still be an immense amount of pain associated with it for some people.

Christmas day is rarely a traditional happy-family day for everyone. I know my Christmas’ growing up never replicated a Disney Christmas. In fact, Christmas was very similar year-to-year until the year my mum died.

The year mum died was also the year I had moved out of home. Christmas had changed. Not only was my family having to face one less person around, I was also beginning to face the dilemma of whether to travel back home and spend Christmas with my family, or stay where I was and spend it with my then-boyfriend’s family. The decision was not a hard one because Christmas with my family was very important to me, especially since my younger sisters were still quite young when our mother had died. I, unintentionally, tried to take on the mother role over Christmas and ensure there were still plenty of presents under the tree for my younger siblings. I wanted to try to keep Christmas as ‘normal’ as possible. The true Christmas spirit was not really a priority for me—instead it became about my family, trying to please them, and in doing so believing that I could fix their pain.

Since moving back to my home-town, Christmastime has changed yet again. I have two immediate families I get to spend the day with. However, that is not because I have married and now have my husband’s family to consider. Instead, I have adopted another family. Even though Christmas still does bring some mixed emotions, I know I am actually in a pretty blessed position as a young, single woman. I have twice the family to be around in an otherwise hard and painful time. Many singles, by the time they are my age, are living by themselves or with friends, and probably far from any immediate family.

While Christmas this year is slightly different and I am fighting the ache of still being single and childless, there are a number of blessings I remind myself of:

• ·        I do not have the fear of facing holidays alone.
• ·        I do not have to face setting a table for one, and the conundrums of planning a meal for one.
• ·        I do not have to question if it is worth putting up a Christmas tree or whether I should buy a present for myself.
• ·        I also do not have to worry about being quizzed by relatives on why I am still single.
• ·        Most of all, I have family surrounding me.

These blessings are only minute compared to the real truth behind Christmas. The real truth that easily gets buried among the focus on family, let alone the present buying, meal planning, travelling, end-of-year parties and school presentations. This truth remains good news no matter what has happened throughout the year. It is a truth I am challenging myself to remember and hold onto as I approach another different Christmas.

The good news the angel brought to the shepherds 2000 years ago on that first Christmas:

‘I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, who is Christ the Lord’ Luke 2:10-11. (ESV)

How are you facing a different Christmas?

Do you want to know more about this ‘good news’? Drop me a line and we can chat. 

Do you believe freedom is possible?

If you asked me what sin I struggle with the most, I do not think pride would be at the top of the list. That is not to say I do not struggle with pride at all. A couple of years ago, I went through a period in my life where I believed, deep down, my sin was too big for God. I believed, whole-heartedly, I was trapped in the self-destructive life I had chosen. I believed I could not be free. I believed, even if God could, He would not want to free me. I was believing lies. Although it may not seem like it, this, my friends, is still pride.

I spent many months believing these lies even though I did not have any proof. Being that I am human, my heart is faulty. I can question where these lies came from- was it my perfectionistic tendencies, my people-pleasing nature, or failing to live up to expectation? Ultimately, it begins with our sinful nature leading to a faulty heart.

Whether it was one or a combination of those scenarios, the point was, I was squashing the Truth of the Gospel. I was ignoring the Truth that I am loved (John 3:16), I have been set free (Galatians 5:1) and I am forgiven (Ephesian 1:7). I was sinking deeper into a hole only God could get me out of. The deeper I was falling, the louder the lies were becoming. I was hearing, and believing:

You are not worth it.
You are not good enough.
You deserve to destroy yourself.
You will never be free.
You are not worthy of freedom.

Lies. We all hear lies. They are not uncommon. It is Satan’s trick to bring us down and draw us away from God and His Truth. Thankfully, with any lie, there is always the Truth. By God’s Grace, He brought some people into my life who persevered in speaking the Truth to me so that I believed I could be free. When I faced temptation or when I began to feel hopeless and lost, ‘Jesus is Bigger’ became the motto to remind me of the Truth. When I think my sin is too big for God to forgive and begin to shy away from approaching God, I pull out Psalm 103:12, ‘as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us.’ (ESV) The verse reminds me of how strong God’s forgiveness is.

Have you ever believed you could not be free? Have you ever believed your sin was too big for God? There is good news for you! The Bible is full of examples of Jesus being bigger than anything else. The greatest example is His resurrection. If Jesus can overcome death, I think He is bigger than any sin, problem, sickness, doubt and lie there is. Unfortunately, because we live in a sinful world, these will still be present until Jesus comes back again but He is still bigger!

Here are some of the ways I have chosen to believe the Truth:

• Surrounding myself with Christian community. I need the encouragement of fellow brothers and sisters. I attend a bible study once a week, and I also meet up with a couple of girls regularly to pray and have accountability.
• Praying each day to renounce the lies and believe the Truth. For the past 2 years or so, I have been praying a prayer at night for protection of my heart and mind. The Bible encourages us to take every thought captive. (2 Corinthians 10:5)
• Memorising Scripture. Having verses up around the home and workplace is great. For example, the mirror in my bathroom has ‘Truth = Freedom’ and ‘The Armour of God’. The mirror can be a place where lies begin to form so it is important to remind myself of the Truth. A couple of my favourite verses on freedom are Galatians 5:1 and Galatians 5:13.

Jesus is bigger and I am still human. I need to continue to work at fighting pride, renouncing lies, and reminding myself of the Truth. Jesus is bigger than my pride, Jesus is bigger than the lies, Jesus is bigger than my sin. Jesus is bigger!!

Celebrating the Quiet Victories

Imagine throwing a party every time a hurdle in life is overcome. The champagne gets broken out, streamers and balloons are hung up around the room, a cake is baked and iced ready to eat, and people are invited and ready to dance to a selected playlist of music. There are many victories that are not celebrated and it would be silly if there was a party each and every time. Life really would be a party!

There are some culturally accepted victories (most of us celebrate):

• ·         Reaching a year older
• ·         Passing a driving test
• ·         Getting a first job
• ·         Graduating

But within each of us we have personal battles and personal victories. The person next door may be struggling with insecurity, low self-esteem and anytime they walk in the room without apologising is a victory. The person who sits next to you at church may be battling anxiety and it is a victory they made it to the service. A work colleague may be battling depression and each day they turn up to work is a victory.

Each person’s victory is different but it does not make any of them less ‘celebrated’. The past two years have been full of victories for me. One of them has been a progression of overcoming fear in various areas of my life. Although I have usually been the last person to see them as victories, they are milestones all the same. I have a tendency, and I am sure many others have as well, to minimise any steps taken forward. If I look back over some of my past fears, I can chuckle as they seem trivial now.

Each step of overcoming fear is valid to celebrate. Maybe not to the extent of a party, but to acknowledge the step taken and thank God for giving you the strength. The steps I take to move forward in my life are different from the next person. When each step is taken to move forward, I picture Jesus celebrating in Heaven on our behalf. The power of the cross shows Jesus overcame death. With Jesus on my side, I can have strength to keep moving forward.

Whatever my personal victories may seem like or look like to someone else, each one is evidence of the grace of God in my life. When I look back over my life, not only do I feel thankful for the strength and hope of Jesus to have gotten me to this point, but I also see the growth that has allowed me to reach where I am in life now.

There is, however still one fear I have not yet overcome: spiders. Ironically, I write this post after having spotted a large sized spider hiding behind the couch I normally sit in. Even after I (so courageously) sprayed it and moved it outside, I am spending the evening cautiously sitting on another seat. Just in case. Maybe God is not finished with me yet!

And God is not finished with you yet, either. What is one quiet victory from this past week you can celebrate?

Friendship

The lessons of growing up never get old. Society’s milestone of turning the legal age of 18 does not mean our brains automatically become filled with all things wisdom and knowledge. I am sure there are some people who think that happens. But to remain grounded in the tumultuous journey of life, I think it is important to be open to what you can learn and how you can grow.